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Ramadan For Desi Women – Please Allah or Please family?

Ramadan For Desi Women - Please Allah or Please family?

Aahhh Ramadan, the month of blessings, joy and a chance for your spiritual upliftment and getting closer to Allah SWT, is it? No… its that time of the year when the women in your family have to stand in the kitchen in garmi ya sardi, light ho ya andhera (all thanks to electric companies of Pakistan). She has to, because your family wants the best sehri and iftari.

All the ladies out there; married or unmarried, students, those who are cooking for kids, for husbands, for fathers or for brothers. Women in every house make iftar and sehri for you (mard hazraat), have you ever thought how does it feel??

OK, we understand that men go out and work but during Ramadan even office hours are decreased so people can have less stress of their work and they can take time out for ibadah and fasting becomes easy, but what about women particularly housewives or stay at home women. Are they less human?

Ramadan For Desi Women - Please Allah or Please family?

No they are not, don’t take them or their love for granted. They have a soul too, it hurts them when they don’t take out time for themselves and their ibadah. They may not tell you but they feel miserable.

The woman in your house wakes up early, ahead of everyone else (be it your ammi jaan, begum, baaji, choti ya jo b naam hai unka), she prepares sehri for all the family members, serves it and makes sure you had it well. In the end she eats and fasts for all day.

How on earth everyone thinks it’s easy for her? She may be doing it all out of love but she needs appreciation for that. She never says it but expects the return. Nothing exists as unconditional in this world.

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After sehri and her fajr prayers, she wakes up and does the house chores along with taking care of small kids (if any) and trust me that is not at all an easy task in itself (wo b rozay mein aur Pakistan ki garmi mein). Then bachon ka khana and all that.

Ok (ghar ke kaam khatam), it’s time to prepare iftar which starts from 4 or 5 in the evening, keeping in mind the (pasand and napasand) of whole family (saas, sasur, bachay, shohar, amma, abba jo bhi rishta hai) she throws herself in the kitchen right after Asr prayers and be there till Isha. She only comes out roza kholne k liye like a miskeen.

All the family is enjoying the feast at iftar time, dahi baray, chaat, samosa, sharbat, and mommy is still frying (garma garam pakoray). When everyone is done with iftar (bartano ka dher) in kitchen is waiting to be washed. Is this what Ramadan and fast is all about?

Ramadan For Desi Women - Please Allah or Please family?

Although, serving the family and preparing meals is considered ibadah for her, but why she should gain rewards like this and not like all others? She has all the rights to sit in peace and take the time out for herself first.

The point here is not to discuss the routine of your family but to make you understand the physical pain and emotional state she goes through. Ramadan is not about food extravaganza but simplicity and making the most of your ibadah and getting closer to Allah.

There are women who say it out loud and refrain from doing these chores but still majority of our Pakistani moms and wives do not complain and do every possible effort for making their family happy.

Ramadan For Desi Women - Please Allah or Please family?

Next time when you see her doing all the chores and making lavish dinners and iftars for you, give her a helping hand or just make her feel good. Fight with your nafs and keep your sehar and iftar time as simple as possible.

Now is the time to start and bring the change. Yes my dear desi women, you have all the rights to be little selfish and please your Allah more than anything else. May Allah SWT help us all.


Are you in the same boat? how many of you go through the same feelings? do you agree or disagree? comment below what do you think about this.

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  • Durriya Anwer

    Excellent n well needed post for Ramadan.👌👌.the women has no super powers to do all in fasting she did it all only bcoz of her love n care towards her family.

    • Shehzeen

      Exactly, and that is why everyone takes her for granted.

  • Sindhu Adnan

    Good read! Honestly, I don’t understand why Pakistani society is obsessed with gender roles? Why can’t we ask our brothers/sons to prepare iftari some day and let the girls in the house rest? Or atleast be an equal support in the kitchen while the mom/sister is giving her 100% while in fasting.

    • Shehzeen

      Absolutely.. there is no harm for men also in doing the house chores.

  • Ammar Khalil

    Being a man i respect women who do maintain a good balance between spiritual and worldly life.

    • Shehzeen

      Thank you for that. Women appreciate those men who respects her.